Dont Count the Days, Make the Days Count

So, many of you know my husband is in the United States Army and I proudly stand behind him 100%. This week I was given a technical count down as to when my husband will be going on his first deployment. I wanted, well heck I did. I cried the minute he told me he had his orders, silently of course in the back of the van since we were on the way to view our beloved island we live on. But thinking back on it I have went to that place in my mind where I say okay I have x amount of weeks left with him with this and this going on during this time, than this also which leaves us with x amount of free time. AHHH I had to stop I can't do it. I can't count down the days when he leaves us, and yes since this is our first deployment I still have an uncertainty if he'll be returning. I'm not trying to be morbid or anything but honestly who in my shoes wouldn't think that. This is all new to us, our kids, our family, our friends... our MARRIAGE. I'm scared as hell for this upcoming year but I'm putting on my big girl panties like everyone says I should and "deal with it" I'm not counting our time, I'm making our time count. I'm doing whatever his heart desires, which is a lot for me since I'm a bigger girl. I'm putting my anger moments aside, and the moments where I want to ring his neck when he decided at the last minute to take care of an online course that HAD TO be done today. The little things I'm letting go of, I will not and I repeat WILL NOT let our time restraint hinder what we do on a daily basis. I will leave off with this, I might not be here blogging as often as I planned on until he is off to save the world in his lovely ACUs.. but remember we are Home of the Free, because of the Brave!!